Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i think i have herpe
just one?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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