He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
