Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Everything about him screamed your future.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
bring money and cleavage
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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