maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I just forgot I was standing up.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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