I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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