shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
