Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
