I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
