so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
