Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize