I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize