this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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