it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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