it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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