Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
