I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize