Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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