Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''