Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
