toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs