Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
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after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
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That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.