they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You're breaking my sexual little heart