Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent