$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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