I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
tonight lets celebrate not being married
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
