ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
