Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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