I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
