I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
