you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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