I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
