Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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