And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
