Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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