Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I have already put on my inside pants.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
