I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
