they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
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James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
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