My friends, they love my intelligence
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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