Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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