You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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