so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
