i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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