Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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