p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
