dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize