u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
