What a fucking waste of an outfit
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
