Slut skills are useful in every country.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
