Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
