you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize