At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
