It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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