we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
