You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
