Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
You've changed since you got that strap on
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
