I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
