Texts From Last Night

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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!

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  (301): Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!! http://tfl.nu/rxuv
  Replies (9) Good night (1098) Bad night (747)
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  (626): View more from California

  and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.

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  (626): and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name. http://tfl.nu/n8x4
  Replies (13) Good night (2820) Bad night (741)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"

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  (978): Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?" http://tfl.nu/0wwp
  Replies (20) Good night (6962) Bad night (1114)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.

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  (240): my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight. http://tfl.nu/cb14
  Replies (2) Good night (3434) Bad night (860)
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  (607): View more from New York

  Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.

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  (607): Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating. http://tfl.nu/yfie
  Replies (4) Good night (5257) Bad night (1086)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.

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  (904): you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck. http://tfl.nu/a9rr
  Replies (9) Good night (2819) Bad night (991)
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.

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  (985): Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me. http://tfl.nu/35pb
  Replies (6) Good night (1578) Bad night (674)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.

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  (785): After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this. http://tfl.nu/akz0
  Replies (8) Good night (1985) Bad night (667)
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  (661): View more from California

  And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"

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  (661): And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first" http://tfl.nu/snox
  Replies (3) Good night (1108) Bad night (768)
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  (760): View more from California

  Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.

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  (760): Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night. http://tfl.nu/5xwv
  Replies (5) Good night (639) Bad night (399)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.

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  (+44): Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process. http://tfl.nu/j8pd
  Replies (1) Good night (641) Bad night (297)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.

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  (319): I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video. http://tfl.nu/l44k
  Replies (2) Good night (553) Bad night (360)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.

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  (920): Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar. http://tfl.nu/5oi1
  Replies (7) Good night (812) Bad night (301)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.

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  (702): I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way. http://tfl.nu/vsfa
  Replies (3) Good night (439) Bad night (298)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras

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  (780): Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras http://tfl.nu/dst4
  Replies (0) Good night (580) Bad night (139)

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