I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.