Texts From Last Night

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  (516): View more from New York

  I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.

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  (516): I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos. http://tfl.nu/v11h
  Replies (8) Good night (1745) Bad night (566)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.

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  (519): I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes. http://tfl.nu/14d6
  Replies (14) Good night (4447) Bad night (1543)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.

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  (843): No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear. http://tfl.nu/va6s
  Replies (47) Good night (4889) Bad night (813)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.

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  (845): Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore. http://tfl.nu/7ot8
  Replies (24) Good night (6040) Bad night (2076)
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  (310): View more from California

  His dick was poking my bladder. That big...

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  (310): His dick was poking my bladder. That big... http://tfl.nu/xupw
  Replies (34) Good night (7803) Bad night (1534)
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  (845): View more from New York

  i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out

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  (845): i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out http://tfl.nu/p8nx
  Replies (3) Good night (3061) Bad night (853)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."

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  (606): I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening." http://tfl.nu/f5c0
  Replies (3) Good night (1595) Bad night (611)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.

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  (631): I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice. http://tfl.nu/lrh1
  Replies (6) Good night (1162) Bad night (667)
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  (209): View more from California

  Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel

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  (209): Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel http://tfl.nu/1v3g
  Replies (15) Good night (1378) Bad night (491)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Yeah but the people love.

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  (781): Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus (908): Yeah but the people love. http://tfl.nu/k9ua
  Replies (2) Good night (1083) Bad night (423)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time

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  (928): So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time http://tfl.nu/6mpm
  Replies (5) Good night (1499) Bad night (423)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.

  (1-720): View more from Colorado

  Mother of the Year

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  (720): We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach. (1-720): Mother of the Year http://tfl.nu/ysx6
  Replies (5) Good night (754) Bad night (391)
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  (714): View more from California

  The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.

  (310): View more from California

  Best. Text. Ever.

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  (714): The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it. (310): Best. Text. Ever. http://tfl.nu/bz8y
  Replies (2) Good night (842) Bad night (445)
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  (518): View more from New York

  My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray

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  (518): My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray http://tfl.nu/pftj
  Replies (7) Good night (751) Bad night (791)
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  (315): View more from New York

  There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved

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  (315): There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved http://tfl.nu/5bwp
  Replies (1) Good night (453) Bad night (111)

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