Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses

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  (303): I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses http://tfl.nu/qudw
  Replies (3) Good night (2682) Bad night (470)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.

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  (404): Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn. http://tfl.nu/mlpv
  Replies (124) Good night (5955) Bad night (903)
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  (714): View more from California

  his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time

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  (714): his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time http://tfl.nu/seuc
  Replies (21) Good night (4082) Bad night (631)
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  (760): View more from California

  I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.

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  (760): I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college. http://tfl.nu/m4jf
  Replies (52) Good night (4384) Bad night (738)
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  (562): View more from California

  Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on

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  (562): Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on http://tfl.nu/30zy
  Replies (38) Good night (2493) Bad night (7736)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  ... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.

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  (816): ... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night. (314): I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it. http://tfl.nu/jfox
  Replies (7) Good night (4211) Bad night (873)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.

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  (902): i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall. http://tfl.nu/6zaz
  Replies (7) Good night (970) Bad night (3483)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.

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  (920): just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch. http://tfl.nu/t841
  Replies (5) Good night (5568) Bad night (962)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Oh Jesus.

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  (219): Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa (708): Oh Jesus. http://tfl.nu/7sg2
  Replies (9) Good night (2494) Bad night (899)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  She's clinging to me like a horny koala.

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  (425): She's clinging to me like a horny koala. http://tfl.nu/a9hq
  Replies (10) Good night (3438) Bad night (989)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.

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  (845): Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent. http://tfl.nu/1ynv
  Replies (10) Good night (840) Bad night (466)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it

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  (740): I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it http://tfl.nu/5fqw
  Replies (13) Good night (1501) Bad night (506)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick

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  (201): thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick http://tfl.nu/xnq8
  Replies (9) Good night (1153) Bad night (405)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.

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  (608): I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot. http://tfl.nu/aflc
  Replies (4) Good night (746) Bad night (288)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat

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  (205): Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat http://tfl.nu/n66h
  Replies (1) Good night (749) Bad night (368)

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