Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while? http://tfl.nu/my43
  Replies (3) Good night (883) Bad night (1592)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced. http://tfl.nu/ok17
  Replies (23) Good night (5055) Bad night (582)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch http://tfl.nu/sdde
  Replies (13) Good night (5006) Bad night (1076)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow. http://tfl.nu/e26q
  Replies (11) Good night (4262) Bad night (1061)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step http://tfl.nu/7m4i
  Replies (7) Good night (4607) Bad night (1234)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out http://tfl.nu/cxh0
  Replies (8) Good night (4064) Bad night (913)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson. http://tfl.nu/7vwr
  Replies (16) Good night (1119) Bad night (4585)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night.. http://tfl.nu/1tnp
  Replies (6) Good night (2849) Bad night (943)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (701): Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire? http://tfl.nu/pmju
  Replies (3) Good night (1473) Bad night (2008)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance. http://tfl.nu/ugp3
  Replies (13) Good night (1799) Bad night (1142)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard? http://tfl.nu/d7iq
  Replies (5) Good night (957) Bad night (543)
• Favorite

  (478): View more from Georgia

  So. How about you can get tequila certified...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (478): So. How about you can get tequila certified... http://tfl.nu/1yln
  Replies (1) Good night (764) Bad night (479)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything. http://tfl.nu/7wj6
  Replies (3) Good night (465) Bad night (1362)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (501): I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this. http://tfl.nu/a4t5
  Replies (8) Good night (1394) Bad night (472)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (718): DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES http://tfl.nu/23my
  Replies (2) Good night (405) Bad night (228)

Randomize