Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(518): View more from New York

I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.

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(561): View more from Florida

new revelation: five guys for breakfast

(561): View more from Florida

new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation

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(805): View more from California

Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"

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(910): View more from North Carolina

Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.

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25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Read it at the TFLN blog
(506): View more from New Brunswick

I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.

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(+61): View more from Australia

I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?

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(641): View more from Iowa

He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...

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