We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
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you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
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The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I think I swiped left on my soulmate