Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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