So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
