I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
