I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I deserve to be covered in dicks
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
