What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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